Teen not Talking? Get Moving!

Teens love to talk, just not to their parents. You can open the lines of communication with your teen by engaging them in physical movement. Shoot some hoops, play a game of ping pong, toss a frisbee, go for a walk, and don't be surprised to see your teen open up and share what’s on their mind.

This is a true story.

Fourteen year old Megan came home from school and her mom could tell that something was "off". Megan went to her room without saying "Hi" and slammed the door.

"Hi Honey, How was your day?" (said Mom, through door)

"Fine!"

"Is everything OK?" (attempt #2)

"I'm FINE!"

"Really? You don't seem like you're fine. Can I come in?" (attempt #3)

"NO! I'M FINE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" (code for "If you think I am going to talk to you, you are crazy!")

At this point, the wise parent backed off and left Megan alone in her room. After about an hour, Mom tried again.

"Megan, your brother is out for another hour, how about we play ping pong?"

Megan reluctantly agrees.

After 10 minutes of hitting the ball back and forth, Megan quietly mentions:

"They changed the lunch tables today (pause) and I wasn't with any of my friends".

" I am so sorry to hear that . . . "

And just like that they were having a real conversation about what was bothering Megan.

How did things changes so quickly? In one word - MOVEMENT! Physical movement has a powerful effect on the brain. It leads to a more relaxed emotional state and clearer thinking. When Megan first got home from school, she was overwhelmed by the emotional upset of the day and the noisy thoughts in her brain. She was unable to talk to her mom in that state, without feeling like more was coming in than she could handle. As Megan hit the ball back and forth with her mother, the "noise" in her brain quieted down, her real thoughts got clearer, and the things that were truly on her mind began to come out. She was ready to be in a real conversation with her mom, where they could talk and problem solve together.